The following are resources that you can use for a deeper understanding of some of the topics in our handbook. The list also includes the most current research on the impact of parents on college athletes.  

Research on the impact of parents on athletes:

NCAA parent guidance:   https://www.ncaa.org/sports/2017/10/11/parental-guidance.aspx

Summary of NCAA research:   https://athleticdirectoru.com/articles/does-parental-involvement-matter-ncaa-student-athletes/

Howard, J.M., Nicholson, B.C., & Chesnut, S.R. (2019). Relationships Between Positive Parenting, Overparenting, Grit, and Academic Success. Journal of College Student Development 60(2), 189-202. doi:10.1353/csd.2019.0018.

Howard, J.M., Nicholson, B.C., Madson, M.B., John, R.S. & Ballock-Yowell, E. (2021) Exploring Student-Athlete Grit as a mediator in the Relationships between Parenting, Academic Success and Mental Health Outcomes, Journal of Clinical Sport Psychology 16(2), 109-129.  DOI: https://doi.org/10.1123/jcsp.2020-0026

Communication skills for parents:

General guidance for parents around communication to athletes from the NCAA studies:  

Website for the intercollegiate parent education website: http://ncaaparenteducation.com

Motivational Interviewing: 

Motivational interviewing (MI) allows parents to ask questions that leave ownership for change with their athlete. MI questions are particularly useful when an athletes say they want one thing, but their behavior does not support that goal. 

https://sportsandthemind.com/motivational-interviewing/

Listening: 

Utilizing listening skills helps your athlete feel valued and increases the likelihood they will turn to you again in the future. They are ways to convey to someone that you are fully engaged in the conversation and nothing other than understanding their perspective matters at the moment.

Center for creative leadership on active listening: https://www.ccl.org/articles/leading-effectively-articles/coaching-others-use-active-listening-skills/

Psychology today on active listening skills: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-it-together/202006/active-listening-skills

Empathic listening:

For athletes to hear or think about useful questions you may pose they need to feel seen and heard first. The best way to do this is through empathy. Listening well is a necessary but not sufficient component. Empathic statements will help your athlete feel understood and that you are on their team. Empathy also brings down stress levels so will decrease the intensity of their upset; this is what allows them to start to work on the issue not just be consumed by their feelings. The complication in this situation is to empathize with and validate your athlete’s feelings without necessarily validating their view of things. In this situation your best bet is to identify the feeling behind the upset and validate that, since it is truly real. And to ask questions to clarify their perspective to show you totally get it.   

https://positivepsychology.com/empathic-listening/

Asking open ended questions: 

Open ended questions are questions that elicit a thoughtful and personal answer from someone. They generally don’t elicit yes/no responses or facts. These questions help your athlete with increased self-awareness and help you stay out of giving advice or proactively problem solving and reassuring.

How to ask open ended questions by WikiHow  https://www.wikihow.com/Ask-Open-Ended-Questions

Other tools for parents:

All of the following tools are very effective if practiced regularly.   
Breathing:  
Breathing is something you can do in the moment anytime, anywhere to bring down your emotional arousal. Intentional slow- paced breathing can create a relaxation response and a sense of calm. Using your breath can also serve as a here and now anchor of attention during times in which we become flustered or caught in the thinking brain like when your athlete presents upsetting news.

https://www.aol.com/lifestyle/box-breathing-other-breathing-exercises-190059318.html

Some people like to practice using breathing pacers (HRV breathing pacers, diaphragmatic breathing pacers, coherent breathing pacers) which you can find in your app store or on YouTube.

Mindfulness and meditation:  
Mindfulness has become very popular in athletics, business and the wellness literature. There is extensive research showing the many benefits of mindfulness including scans of before and after brains that show remarkable differences. Many of these differences are in areas of the brain connected to reactivity. Mindfulness, helps increase self-awareness, focus and emotion tolerance among other things. Through this practice you can build in the space to notice what is happening inside you. And then decide whether or how to respond to those feelings. 

It is a particularly helpful skill to help you stay present and focused on your athletes needs when you are feelings upset by what they are discussing.

https://mindfulness.com/mindful-living/mindfulness-a-beginners-guide

Meditation:  
Meditation has been shown to have many benefits including, health, performance, building empathy and increased emotion regulation. It is literally a way to build your refocusing muscle and shrink the part of your brain responsible for anxiety and fear which often drives reactivity.  

https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/meditation/in-depth/meditation/art-20045858

There are many mindfulness and meditation apps available as well as YouTube videos that will teach you mindfulness and/or meditation skills.